Did I just see a sign with a skateboard, with a diagonal line through it? The universal sign telling people not to do something? I’m not entirely sure, because I’m skateboarding pretty fast. Did I mention the sun is in my eyes? It’s reflecting hard off the Pacific Ocean. Sunny. Hot.
Hold on. Wait.
Let’s see if I have this right. Let’s go over this, just in case. You may not have noticed.
On the very fine smooth patch of concrete, which is just perfect for my soft rubber Kryptonic Skateboard Wheels (This is a shameless plug. If you want skateboard wheels that grip like gorilla glue, you must get some Kryptonic wheels 😊), they apparently allow every type of locomotion other than cars and pray tell, dangerous skateboards.
There’s roller blades, bikes, kids biking with surfboards under their arms, women running with Tesla sized, super duper baby strollers, joggers, joggers with dogs ranging in size from rat-sized to giant Saint Bernards, and motorized bikes going way faster than I am.
Did I mention some guy in pink short-shorts with a parrot on his shoulder? You just can’t make this stuff up. I would say “unbelievable,” but if you’re from here, it’s entirely believable. You better love it. Right?
Wait. Hold on. Just when you’ve seen it all. Here comes a guy with roller blades, being pulled by a snarling pit bull. All perfectly legal, of course, because his wheels aren’t attached to a skate deck. Everyone is moving quickly to get out of his way. No danger there. No sir ree.
I mean, come on. It seems it’s perfectly legal to drive a tank on this beach sidewalk but heaven forbid a 14 year old girl with a skateboard.
Call out the National Guard! “We seem to have a situation.” Quick 9-1-1.
I can see it now, I’m face down on the pavement. With the officer’s knee in my back, pulling out his handcuffs. “We’re only protecting the beach.” As the dude with the roller blades, getting pulled by the pit bull, gleefully rolls past. Unabated.
I would hope that one of the moms, with the $5,000 all equipped monstrosity they call a baby stroller, has a small pouch somewhere on her stroller for her phone. So she can videotape all this. Do you think?
Kaila and I started skateboarding in our driveway. Which, looking back, is kind of crazy for little kids because it was so steep. We’d go to different places to skateboard. Empty parking lots, sidewalks, streets. You name it, we’d skate it.
On weekends we’d go to our elementary school and skate. I know they have a “no skateboarding” sign but no one’s there on weekends. Don’t start me on this. Back. Off.
Then, after we got better, we skated at our local skatepark. Most of the time, Kaila and I were the only girls. Oh well. Like that’s going to stop us.
It might just be the only place in all of San Diego where it’s perfectly legal to skateboard.
But, do you think it’s a coincidence that our skate park is right across the street from the police station? I think not. How about you?
As I mentioned, I’m skateboarding at the beach. Nice smooth concrete.I didn’t take my longboard cruiser. I took my short board. With Kryptonics 😊
I figured, correctly, I’m turning, a lot. To miss all the baby strollers, joggers, dogs, bikes… and just in case, yes, the completely legal tanks. Hey, you want to be prepared right?
Like I said, I’m flying. I like speed.
Going fast is fun.
I’m Usain Bolt on a skateboard. At least that’s how I feel.
The wind in my hair… am I dreaming… is that day dreaming? Or what?
Oh oh… is that another universal “No Skateboarding” sign, that I can’t really see, because I’m going so fast? That’s not what it is, is it? That just can’t be right.
I better go faster. See ya.